While our ability to control and manage our emotions gets better as we become older, it still takes tim and practice in order to see differences in our day-to-day live. Consider reading some books that explore these emotional tendencies and suggest ways in which to deal with them. An old classic would be Albert Ellis’s book, How to Control Your Anxiety Before It Controls You
. In reading Ellis’s book, you should look for at least three specific actions or approaches that you can take that can help you with this issue. In order to keep on track and reinforce the learning process, we would also recommend that you keep a journal about your experiences and progress.
Sometimes people tend to be very logical and fact-based in the way that they think about things, as well as how they solve problems. While this likely works well in many situations, it may not prove to be so effective in dealing with other people. That is, we may not always pay enough attention to what other people are feeling or what their values are in relation to our own. As a result, it is important to periodically take time to think about the people that you are dealing with from an emotional perspective. For instance, if you are about to enter into negotiations with someone, it would be to your benefit to consider how similar this person is to you, as well as how they are likely to negotiate from a logical and emotional perspective. Even if you do not know the answers to some of these considerations, you will find that you are still in a better place from a negotiation standpoint than you would have been without it. Having a better understanding and appreciation for the people that you deal with regularly will go a long way toward making you more effective in most any role you take on in an organization.
It should go without saying that it can be beneficial to see things from the perspective of others. A good way to begin this kind of developmental change is to learn more about empathy and how to understand where others are coming from. Start by reading Daniel Goleman’s book, Working with Emotional Intelligence
. Using Goleman’s model of emotional intelligence, you should pay particular attention to those areas of the book that talk about empathy and developing relationships further. In particular, identify two or three different tips or strategies that you can put into place right away.